A Touchy Subject

Well hello! I have a hot button topic today: homosexuality and same-gender attraction. I have known several people who have dealt with this, so I understand a little of what they go through. We discussed a process people go through in discovering they are homosexual. I'm going to describe this process and please feel free to comment and say what you think about it.

Let's be real here, we are all born with different personalities, preferences, and temperaments. People have different strengths and weaknesses and characteristics. Let's say Bobby (fictional character for this post) is a sweet little boy who likes to draw and is sensitive to the needs of others. In his early educational years, Bobby often spends time doing art with the little girls during free time rather than knocking down blocks with the other boys. As these kids grow up, other's notice that Bobby acts differently than the other boys, and a separation is drawn there. His preferences are gender atypical, and thus he spends less time with the boys. As he gets older the boys make fun of him, calling Bobby a sissy or a wuss. He may try to fit in with the guys, but he fails to do so. After the kids have grown up a little more, they begin to hit puberty, and begin to notice the members of the opposite sex. Because Bobby has been playing and spending time with the girls, he is already accustomed to them, and they are used to him as well. But he still is not buddy-buddy with the guys, and he longs for this camaraderie with the boys that are his age. At this point in the process, Bobby is longing for intimacy and there is nothing sexual about his yearnings. Eventually, Bobby is exposed to some form of sexual connection with another boy (it could be just experimentation or he could be a victim) and his body responds. This is when we need to realize that while he is physiologically excited, it does not make him homosexual. Not in the least bit. In fact, it means that his body is functioning normally. But because of his reaction, Bobby begins to wonder if he is gay. He may look back and say that he always was different from the other boys, even very early on. Maybe, just maybe, he is gay.

Now, I am not suggesting that this is a hard and fast rule and everyone who is homosexual has been through this process, but I do believe that there is some validity here. I have known different kids who I went to high school with where I believe this process happened.

Research proves that by understanding this process, developing proper intimacy skills, stopping any form of homosexual activities, and developing emotional regulation skills, people who thoroughly considered themselves homosexual found that they were not.

So what do you think? Is there any validity to the process? Do you know anyone who has dealt with same-gender attraction? Do they believe they were born that way? Let me know in your comments below.

Family Dinner!

"Pass the salt!" "Pass the salad... Would someone please pass the salad... Rachel, the salad!" "McKay, please move over. Please. Now. Move!" "Could someone please pass the salt. Thank you Jack." These are the typical conversation at the Tucker family dinner table. As crazy as they are, I miss them now that I'm eat dinner on the couch while doing homework. One of my favorite memories with my family is when we would make dinner and then eat everything together. Pizza, pasta salad, salmon, mashed potatoes, big salads, turkey dinner, angel food cake, tacos, spaghetti, barbecued chicken, brussles sprouts, German chocolate cake, you name it, we've made it. I've learned to cook because my parents taught me by example. I learned to keep my elbows off the table by being poked my mother's fork. The Tucker dinner table is a place where we learn and goof around, talk about our days and spend time together. When there's eight people in your family, all around one table, trying to eat food and all talking at once, things get a little crazy. But that was our family bonding time. It's a time where my brother's compliment my mom, I can see my dad smile at my mom and all of us, and I get to hear about my little sibling's days. 

In class this week, we talked about different cultures and their values. We read an article that talked about different Mexican families that immigrated from Mexico to the US. One of the challenges they faced was separation anxiety from their families. One of the traditions they had was getting everyone together and eating together. I love this tradition. It made me feel important in my family, and I plan on making my kids feel needed and loved and a part of something important, our family. 

Happy Mother's Day from Kid President

#10  Want to know the secret to changing the world: MOMS! I love love love this kid! Almost as much as I love my mom. Love you Momma!

Lions, Tigers and Bears!

So my teacher said something that really struck me today in class and I thought all of you might like to hear it.  He told us about some elk he has observed over the years. About two or three weeks out of the year, they are totally devoted to the female elk, the cows, and for the rest of the 50 or so weeks, you will find all of the males off to the side, just kinda hanging out together. The cows are all together with their babies, the calves.
I did a little research after class and found that this is also true of lions, tigers, and bears (oh my). But seriously, the male lions do not care for the young in a pride (the Lion King lied to us as children). It it completely up to the lioness to hunt and care for her cubs.When baby tigers are born they are completely bind and wholly rely on their mother to nurse, protect, and take care of them. Mother bears are not to be messed with, meanwhile dad is no where to be found. It is the same with other animals all across the world.
My teacher discussed this idea with our class, and then made a statement that will stick with me for the rest of my life. He said, "It is not natural for a man and a woman to be partners, it is divine."
I truly believe that. It may not be natural to completely commit to a family, but it is certainly divine and part of God's plan for each of us. And with his help, our families can be strong and face any kind of challenges that we may face as a family. After all, it is a jungle out there!

My Brother Hyrum

This video is so sweet. We talked about the theories of family relationships in class today, and these siblings clearly show that they are both needed in their family. I love this little girl's love. She's an inspiration just like her older brother Hyrum.

We talked about these trends in class last week, so I thought this was very interesting! Watch it! From the WSJ.

A Blip from Class this Week...

This week in class we took a short look at the changing marital and family trends in television over the last seventy years. Let me tell you, TV has changed drastically, even just in the past 15 years. Way back in the 30's, 40's and even the 50's shows were in black and white and were very wholesome, meaning you could let your three year old watch it and not worry about what they heard or saw. There were Shakespeare's plays and other old classics like The Ed Sullivan Show, The Lone Ranger, I Love Lucy, and The Twilight Zone were all aired and watched across the country. These shows all reflected the morals of the times. Men were coming home from war, and everyone got married.

Entering the 60's and 70's, the new series were fairly wholesome with The Dick Van Dyke Show, The Brady Bunch, MASH, Happy Days, and later Three's Company. This is when we notice a significant change in the media. The era of revolution and individualism was well on its way. The role of family and family relationships were being portrayed much differently in Three's Company than in I Love Lucy.

Then the 80's, 90's and early thousands hit! Cheers, Family Ties, The Cosby Show, Married with Children, The Simpsons, Roseanne, The Wonder Years, Seinfeld, Friends, That 70's Show, ER, 7th Heaven, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Home Improvement, Frasier, Everybody Loves Raymond, Gilmore Girls, Law and Order, CSI, Scrubs, The Office, Two and a Half Men, Modern Family, Downton Abbey, The Big Bang Theory, I could go on and on. 

Not only has the focus dramatically changed, the diversity of the families on the TV shows have changed, as have the way our society views family. I'm not saying that TV has caused these variations, but the way our modern families are and how they are portrayed on television are very correlated. Comparing the stats from earlier in the twentieth century, the average age of men and women when they are married has increased, the number of children a couple has has decreased, divorce has increased, birth rate has decreased, cohabitation has increased, abortion has increased, and the number of children in daycare has increased. I find these trends very interesting and I believe they will have a very profound influence on the direction our society goes in the near future.