Let's be real here, we are all born with different personalities, preferences, and temperaments. People have different strengths and weaknesses and characteristics. Let's say Bobby (fictional character for this post) is a sweet little boy who likes to draw and is sensitive to the needs of others. In his early educational years, Bobby often spends time doing art with the little girls during free time rather than knocking down blocks with the other boys. As these kids grow up, other's notice that Bobby acts differently than the other boys, and a separation is drawn there. His preferences are gender atypical, and thus he spends less time with the boys. As he gets older the boys make fun of him, calling Bobby a sissy or a wuss. He may try to fit in with the guys, but he fails to do so. After the kids have grown up a little more, they begin to hit puberty, and begin to notice the members of the opposite sex. Because Bobby has been playing and spending time with the girls, he is already accustomed to them, and they are used to him as well. But he still is not buddy-buddy with the guys, and he longs for this camaraderie with the boys that are his age. At this point in the process, Bobby is longing for intimacy and there is nothing sexual about his yearnings. Eventually, Bobby is exposed to some form of sexual connection with another boy (it could be just experimentation or he could be a victim) and his body responds. This is when we need to realize that while he is physiologically excited, it does not make him homosexual. Not in the least bit. In fact, it means that his body is functioning normally. But because of his reaction, Bobby begins to wonder if he is gay. He may look back and say that he always was different from the other boys, even very early on. Maybe, just maybe, he is gay.
Now, I am not suggesting that this is a hard and fast rule and everyone who is homosexual has been through this process, but I do believe that there is some validity here. I have known different kids who I went to high school with where I believe this process happened.
Research proves that by understanding this process, developing proper intimacy skills, stopping any form of homosexual activities, and developing emotional regulation skills, people who thoroughly considered themselves homosexual found that they were not.
So what do you think? Is there any validity to the process? Do you know anyone who has dealt with same-gender attraction? Do they believe they were born that way? Let me know in your comments below.
You are right, this is a very sensitive subject! I applaud you for taking it on. I think that sometimes your scenario, or one similar to it, might fit. Other than that, I don't know much!
ReplyDeleteI act partly by faith, trusting in the spiritual relationship I have already developed, accepting some things for now, even if I don't fully understand them. That applies to my views on homosexual behavior. I believe that, like premarital sex, it is inappropriate, not sanctioned by God; in other words, I should not do either.
Elaine
So I am in a sociology of gender class right now. It pretty much blows my mind everyday. It's so awesome. We recently have been talking about sexuality and reading articles about the topic. We have even had some people from BYU's USGA (understanding same gender attraction) group come and talk to us. I used to think that sexuality was purely something that was socialized (a lot like what you have described here). But I have come to the conclusion that we don't really know all the answers when it comes to sexuality. I mean, what makes you attracted to what you are attracted to? One of the articles even said that perhaps we make a mistake by saying someones sexual orientation is hetero, homo, or bi. it really should be more specific like mormon, right-handed, brown hair and part latin. Or short, red hair and outgoing. Does that make sense? Part of it is probably biological while other parts can be totally influenced by socialization (like what you have described). I am not exactly sure where I am going with this comment, just that i think it's funny that you wrote about this because this was totally on my mind all last week. haha. but yeah, I think that in some cases, your scenario would fit. But not all. If you want to talk more about this just message me on facebook ;)
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