Stress...

Stress, man oh man. Just thinking the word makes my forehead crinkle and gets my mind racing to whatever it is I need (need need need) to do. In my family, stress is basically a constant and we have learned how we cope as a family. Let me share a story.

Once upon a time, the Tucker family went to Yellowstone for a family reunion. We had just finished watching a movie (The Princess Bride), and were just goofing around and sharing inside jokes between us six kids. This was several years ago, I was about fifteen, and the youngest kid in our family was two. It was dusk, and we had been driving for a long, long time. Out of no where, an elk appeared and hit our car. Let me tell you, none of us saw this coming, and looking back now, we were lucky to have lived. 

My mom was driving, and the elk hit the passenger side of the hood, and my mom swerved at the just right moment, and we only hit it in the rump. When checking the tracks on our way back home after the trip there were skid marks for over 100 yards. Our car was a little banged up, and the elk was no where to be found. 

I chose to share this story because it was a terrifying experience, and our whole family was involved. And we all responded to the stress in different ways. In the back of the car, Rachel (10), Olivia (5), and Jack (2) were looking around for the elk and asking, "What was that? What happened?" My brothers, McKay (13) and Ryan (10), were freaking out, thinking it was cool and wondering where the elk was and they were honestly really excited. I was trying (so, so hard) not to laugh. That's my natural reaction to really stressful situations. My dad was looking around, trying to figure out the best thing to do and making sure that we were all alright. As you can tell, with seven of us freaking out, it was very loud. What I remember most about my mom's reaction was her hands. She was shaking so hard, it made me stop laughing. Then she turned around, crying, and yelled at all of us, "Everybody, be QUIET!" Let me tell you, nothing could have stopped us so quickly. 

Our different reactions lead to different ways of coping. Whether we were crying, bewildered, hysterical, excited or anxious, we all were there for each other. We could rely on each other. I turned around and soothed Jack, the boys distracted my sisters, and my dad took over driving for my mom. That's one thing I really admire about my family. We are all so different in our temperaments, personalities and reactions, but we all love each other and we take care of each other. 

They say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and I believe that we have the chance to make that come true. Ultimately we have the choice to be reactive or proactive. And this choice we make will determine the person we are after the experience. Whether it's an elk in Yellowstone, death, an injury or sickness, moving away, or other stressful occurrences, we determine whether they make us better or bitter.